Here I Am.

It's been a minute. I know the introduction to my posts are usually some excuse as to why I don't blog as much as I used to, and how sorry I am because of it. I know the few eyes that actually read this joint may be getting sick or hearing it, but I want you to know that I truly am sorry for being such a half-steppin' blogger. I'ma step my game up just for y'all.


I might be blogging a lot more than y'all would like me to, since I found a snazzy way to blog from my brand-spankin'-new blackberry. HOORAH!

There's been so many things happening in my life, son. We most certainly need to catch up. Let's keep in touch more often, shall we? :)

Oh, and by the way: hit a jigga up on twitter, if you have one. And if you don't, I'ma need for you to crawl out from that rock you've been hiding under. Lol.

http://www.twitter.com/iLLest_

Ciao!

Happy Friday!

Ugh, I've been sick with excitement since last night!

I'm working on a project, y'all. It's hard to keep it under wraps because I want to shout it from the rooftops, but I won't.

I will say this- never be afraid to dream. dream. dream. dream. dream BIG. anything is possible.

I'm embarking on something that's going to take a lot of work, but I know I'll look back on it and be super proud.

So, when all this ill shit comes to pass, you know y'all heard it first.


peace, and love.


don't forget to DREAM.

Well, hey blogworld!

I've been out of commission this entire week, a.k.a no school for me!
can't say that I'm upset about that, because I'm not. lol
I only wish it were under different circumstances,
you see- I banged up my knee pretty bad about a year ago
shit ain't been right since then..
the pain decided to pay me a visit sometime last week. My knee was swollen, couldn't go to school, went to the doctor- she said I could possibly have arthritis (sp?) in the knee, and it's not properly in the knee socket thingy. I'm only 18. Go figure.

So.. I've been cruising this week. Straight chillin'.
I wish I had something more exciting to talk about, but I don't- since I've been home all week. Holler at a jigga, though.

Revised.

Open letter. Free freakin' expression.

No, no fancy words. No catchy phrases. Nothing cunning or witty. Try again next time.



The truth is- I haven't forgiven you,

and I'm not sure I ever will. I don't trust you, and I'm not sure if I ever will. You have betrayed me in the worst possible way, mayne. I just want you to be clear about where I stand. I will only feel better if I get it all off my chest, you know?

Well, first off- You're a backstabber in the worst way. A manipulator. Someone who NEVER could stand on their own two. Spiteful. FAKE. Mean-spirited. You blend in with the best of them. It always amazed me how you could pretend so well. Hmm.

I'm glad I don't have to see your face, because it makes me want to 'url.

You've sewn such bad karma for yourself. Everything you've said and done will in turn come back to bite you on that bum of yours.



That made me laugh.



All the (undercover, of course) things you've done to other people, will come back to you, darlin'. You will get back all the dirt you've done times ten, that's just the law of nature. It was never in your character to do (BAD) things in a blatant manner.

That doesn't mean that you haven't done them.




In the final analysis, I wish you all the best, but I must say-
You are one of the most horrible people I know.

Open Letter

Open letter to you.

I figured I get all of this stuff off of my chest, because the truth is- I haven't forgiven you, and I'm not sure I ever will. I don't trust you, and I'm not sure if I ever will. You have betrayed me in the worst possible ways, and to this very day, don't take responsibility for your part in confusion. I just want you to be clear about my feelings about you. I will only feel better if I get it all off my chest.

You are a backstabber in the worst way. A manipulator. A punk. Someone who NEVER could stand on their own two. Spiteful. FAKE. Mean-spirited. You blend in with the best of them. It always amazed me how you could pretend so well. Hmm.

You're a leech. You hop from one person to the next, talking about how much you love that person, when in all honesty- they're just there to pass the time away. does that sound familiar?

I'm glad I don't have to see your face. I'm glad you're no longer around me. You're the type of person who wants everyone to be mad with a person just because you are. You are so JEALOUS. You'll do anything to be the number one, including making another person look bad.

You've sewn such bad karma for yourself. Everything you've said and done to make me look bad, will in turn come back to haunt you. All the (undercover, of course) mean things you've done to other people, will come back to you. You will get back all the dirt you've done times ten. It was never in your character to do (BAD) things in a blatant manner. That doesn't mean that you haven't done them.

In the final analysis, I wish you all the best, but I must say- You are one of the most horrible people I know.

Badass Bitches Vol. 1

When I call someone a "badass bitch", I mean it in a form of admiartion.
So- what is a badass bitch, you ask? A Badass bitch does things her own way, on her own time, and her own terms. A Badass bitch definitely leads the pack. They're beautiful, intelligent, and sexy. What more you you ask for? :)

So, as an ode to badass bitches everywhere, I've decided to add a new segment to the blog- just to have some fresh, new content, you know?

First up: Sheryl Crow


"If It Makes You Happy", circa '93. One of my favorite songs.

Sheryl Suzanne Crow (born February 11, 1962) is an American singer-songwriter and musician. Her music blends rock, country and pop into one mainstream sound, and she has won nine Grammy Awards. Crow is also a left-wing political activist.

Beautiful, talented, and she's an activist?
Perfect.

Pressing Matters.

I hope you guys enjoyed the video below as much as I did. And I truly enjoyed it. Lol.

Now, on to more pressing matters like- my life:

This is the first time in a very long time that I've actually enjoyed going to school, although I didn't go on Thursday or Friday. I'm enjoying myself, but I'm just SO over it. My mind is already on college, and dating, and growing up.

I just feel like a shark in this small little pond full of immaturity and whatnot. I'm just ready to be surrounded by people who are on the same level as myself. and NO, that's not coming from an "I'm better than you" train of thought.

I'm just beyond this already. I'm ready for something different. I wish I could fast forward my life already.

I know that I should be living in the moment, and appreciate what I'm in now, but I'm in need of something MORE.

excuse me while I go figure out what that may be.

laugh with me for a sec.

The ass kicking of the century- including moves like "walking the dog", and- my personal favorite- the "one hitter quitter".

basically

Just because someone gives you daps, or speaks when they see you, doesn't mean that y'all are friends. I'm starting to learn that. Someone I thought that I was fairly cool with completely showed their ass. I've considered lashing out, but why bother? As I step into a new school year, I really have a desire to do things differently. No more play-play. No more foolery. And if I were to lash out, though I'd feel great in that moment, I would be backsliding into the negativity that I've fought so hard to get out of these past few months. Has it been easy? No. Hell to the muthafuckin' no- but I did it. Am I perfect? No. Do I still slip up every now and again? yes. But I'm trying my hardest to prevent one too many slip-ups.

I guess the moral of this post is- if you have folks in your life that are acting strange towards you, and your first instinct may be to act a damn fool- STOP- THINK ABOUT IT- try something else.

Leave them fools at Jesus' feet.

Chill.

I'm going to FORCE myself to make a blog, cause this shit don't make NO sense. Haven't blogged with meaning since June. 

It's the long (Labor Day) weekend, Sunday to be exact- and I'm at my Auntie's house in Long Island. I always knew that my fam rocked but, my fam rocks extra hard. they're bombtastic. I've been having so much fun.

I guess the trouble with blogging is- is you have to have something to report. I don't. It's been an awesome summer, I've enjoyed laying around, and I'll be heading back to school shortly. I'm kinda excited about it. I can feel the growth already!

Senior year is NO joke, and I have NO time to be fuckin' around. So, I'm going to chill hardbody these next few days, and then get myself into grind mode. 

I know I don't have maaaad followers or anything, but- I'm really sorry for slacking on this blog. I love writing, and it's something that I'm actually good at. I will NOT let this talent go to waste. One love.

:)

HAPPY LABOR DAY, Y'ALL!

DRINK, EAT, PARTY, AND BE MERRY.

WOOT WOOT!

UGH.

I miss blogging!


-Be back soon.

Michael Jackson.

"If you enter this world knowing you are loved, and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with." - Michael Jackson


One time for Michael Jackson- a LEGEND.

I'm having difficulty with that phrase the "King Of Pop" because he was so much more than that. He influenced ALL genres of music- from hip hop all the way to rock. Not to mention, he's the influence the Chris Browns, the Ushers, the ne-yos - hell, the ciaras of the world! He taught the girls how to GET IT- from the likes of madonna, to beyonce, to rihanna, to Janet Jackson!

True greatness.

That man was an ENTERTAINER in EVERY sense of the word. He could sing, he could dance his ASS off, and- unlike many other "artists"- including some of our favorites- he put on a DAMN GOOD performance/live show.

I refuse to shed light on any of that negativity that's going on about Michael Jackson, because if you dig deep enough, you'll find skeletons in ALL of our closets. I despise the fact that even throughout all of the wonderful years and music he's given us, some folks would rather shine light on the negative. He changed the game, yo. It's no other way to put that.

Thank you, Michael Jackson. Thank you for the music, thank you for being an ICON, thank you for being THE BEST THAT EVER DID IT. I pray that you rest in perfect peace.

yesssssssssss

just being able to write something- ANYTHING- feels AWESOME.
I've missed you, o' blog of mine.
I'll be back- on some real shit, real soon.

holler.





-Autumn.

wait, what?

Megan Good has a single out, entitled "starstruck".
what is this fuckery?



I still don't know what she talmbout.


mama, stick to acting. You're barely good at that!
Sheesh, everyone's putting out records. I'm gon put one out too since it doesn't take much!


total GARBAGE.

Bobby James.

Blogging from my phone is difficult. Can't do too much of anything.

Music will always have a special place in my heart. I know a lot of people say that, but they lie. It's just a cute little thing that people say these days. ugh, so cliche. Has no real meaning.

anyway.

I could go on about that all day, but lemme get to the meat of the sammich (sandwhich). Different songs mean different things to different people. There's one song that means a lot to me.

N*E*R*D - Bobby James

The songs is about a teen named *gasp* Bobby James. He's an outcast, 17 year old cocaine addict. He feels alone, he's tired, he's on the edge, pretty much every fucked up feeling you can think of.

I can relate. I know what it's like to feel alone. I know what it is to scream at the top of your lungs and STILL feel like no one's listening. I know what it is to be emotionally drained. I know what it is to feel like an outcast. I know what it is to want to escape.. so bad.. but not have anywhere to go. I know what it feels like to run in circles.

Do you get my drift?

My spirit feels heavy lately. I just.. I don't know.

I'm so tired, maybe that's it. It's been a stressful few months for me. I know there's a silver lining in all of this. I know God brings sunshine after the storm.

Until then, I'll wait.

ahem.

it's 6:27 on a Tuesday morning, and I'm compelled to blog. School was closed for me yesterday, but it was an action packed day nonetheless. My mom went with me to get all the supplies I need for convention.

And then she told me she had a dream that I married one of my friends.

What the hell.

Now, dude is cool. We're alike in so many ways. But.. no. Just.. NO.

I've always said that I'd never get married. Like.. ever. I'm only 17 and she's having visions of me in that ol' white dress? wtf.

Sheesh, it's been bothering me since she said it. Somebody pray for me.

Sunday.

Sundays are always quiet. that's not necessarily a bad thing either.

Today is my granny's 88th birthday. Isn't that amazing? I love it.. and I lover her.

It's also Easter. Y'know, that one Sunday when people you haven't seen in church in ages decide to show their face.

I'm trying to keep it holy, but some folks are just irritating me with their fakery. It's always the main niggas who get a twisted sense of joy from calling out others, that can't take the heat when it's done to them. Quite frankly I'm sick of it. and I'm sick of them. ugh.

I'll be blogging a little later.
Watch out.

Cassie has steez.

Check out Cassie's new cut!
Yes, all that beautiful, long hair- half that it's been deaded. LMAO.
That's some badass shit right there..
She's gorgeous enough to pull this off, oww!

Hello Handsome Volume 1.

I've been thinking about doing some shit like this for a while now. Every so often I'll be posting some menses that I find absolutely lickable.

My first Hello Handsome pick:

Johnta Austin.

"who the fuck is a Johnta Austin", you ask? He's only the nigga who wrote your favorite artist's biggest hit. He co-wrote Mariah Carey's "We belong Together" (the biggest song of '07), wrote Tyrese's "Sweet Lady", and Mary J. Blige's "Be Without You". What you know about that?

And his single "Turn It Up" still bangs on my ipod.

I remember the first time I saw the video for it, and I remember thinking to myself, "Oh, he's cute".

No big deal.

But, this weekend, things took a strange turn to the left, and the left is where I learned that I have a serious case of Johnta-itis. I'm feenin cuh.

I've been watching this caramel surprise on youtube all weekend, along with Jermaine Dupri and Brian Michael Cox (whom I have a slight crush on as well, but that's for another day) on their lil series "Living the Life". Maybe it's all the shit he talked (I bet you the D-Game is mean! lmao), maybe it's his whole auora, but that man is VERY well put together. and I love me a southern gentleman.

I'd do all kinds of unholy things to him, and then go to church on Sunday. Good girl style.

I love a man that exudes confidence, and can back that shit up! That's a fly nigga right there. He can dress his ass of too.

Look at that pic and enjoy. I know I have.


I'ma stop right here.
I've definitely creamed on myself.

Hmm.

Happy April, everyone.

I soo soo love April, because the weather is getting a tad bit nicer, and this month symbolizes the end for me. The ending of a long, painfully boring, drama-filled school year. I want to be free- I forgot how that feels.

The other interesting this about April is.. well.. we go away for four days. some of us. To the A.C.E. student convention. It's at the Word of Life Camp in Schroon Lake, New York. We had a prety decent time. My only real complaint about it is..

THERE ARE ONLY TWO BLACK SCHOOLS THAT COMPETE IN THE CONVENTION. and we're one of them.

Yeah, folks. There are hardly any coloreds, and there's definitely an underlying racism that goes on at that joint. Believe me. it's not my first time going so I'd know.

I'm competing in 7 events. 2 of which are singing events- a female quartet(=/) and a small ensemble.

I don't mind small ensemble because it's just our Academy Choir. Muhfuckas were skipping choir rehearsal and the director pulled her ass from the joint.

LOL. cause I don't like the bitch anyway.

Anywho, my father's birthday was April 1st. April Fool's Day suits him. I seriously thought about being the adult in the situation and calling him, but I decided against it when I remembered how many times he'd called me for mine over these recent years.

think about it.

Today is a pretty decent day outside.. I think. I'm not going anywhere, though.

I'ma chill in the cut.
I may even blog a few times today, we'll see.

Heartless.

this has been an interesting weekend for all of the wrong reasons. God certainly has a sense of humor. that's for SURE. He has a funny way of PUTTING PEOPLE ON BLAST.

YOU MAY GET BY, BUT HONEY YOU NEVER, EVER GET AWAY. think about it.

I've never been perfect. *gasp* and the beauty in it all is the fact that I've never claimed to be. I don't want to be perfect because quite frankly I think it's boring.

But some people, Oh SOME people, seem to think they are. They put on their best good girl/ good boy act, and let the show begin. Do all kind of foul ish in the dark when they figure folk don't know about it.

And then their whole damn world turns upside down. And the truth begins to reveal itself. and their exposed for the frauds they are.


And I'm sitting in the cut.


Maybe I am a cold-hearted bastard.

It gets no better than this..

stop dreaming it,
I'm living it!

He's attractive, right?

I was reading a blog over at singleblackmale, and it was pretty damn interesting. The blog was about how women aren't accurate judges of other women i.e don't ask a chick if another chick is cute because she'll probably say no based on her own agenda.

I agree 1000 percent.

Unless you're a chick like me.

if any dude that I rock with wants an honest opinion on how shorty-over-there looks, I'm going to give it to him. If she's bad, I'm not going to hate. Real bad bitches don't mind giving other bad bitches compliments! =]

but, I digress.

My post is a little different. Why is it that if you ask a guy how another guy looks (i.e. is he cute), you'll always get the same response: "I don't know, I don't look at other dudes"? That's the most ridiculous sh*t I've ever heard in my life. You have eyes just like I do my nig! You know if a nigga is bangin' or not, you just don't want to seem.. gay.

I asked one of my guy friends about how another guy looked. He said: "I mean, he could get girls but I don't know. I don't look at other dudes like that". BOY BYE. if you know he could get girls, you know damn well he's fine.

What's the big deal with it? If a guy is comfortable enough in his sexuality, saying another dude is attractive - not sexy, not cute but at least ATTRACTIVE - shouldn't be a problem.

Lions, Tigers, & Bears: A Weedhead moment.

I don't smoke weed, lets clear that up. Although, I have nothing against my weed-smoking brothers and sisters. Jah bless y'all.
So umm, what the fu&k am I talking about when I say "weedhead moment", you ask?

I'm talking about the one moment where the simplest statement seems like the most profound shit you've ever heard in your life.

My moment came today as I was listening to Jazmine Sullivan's "Lions, Tigers, & Bears" and I heard her say two of the realest lines ever:

"Just cuz I love you, and you love me, that doesn't mean that we're meant to be". Aint that the truth!

Oh, and I can't forget: "Why do we love love, when love seems to hate us?" When I heard that I was like "WHAAAAAT?! damn, I never thought about that!" in true weedhead fashion.


lol.
Please forgive me. it's Tuesday.

What?!

I'm like.. beyond stoked. Way beyond it. My mom bought me the illest camera ever, the shots are absolutely amazing, the color is incredible. it's a Canon powershot sd790. Super flyy.


Now I can post some snazzy photos on here. it'll bring us closer together. =]

Yes.

I just realized how beautiful this song is.






1:45 had me like daaaaaaamn son!
Homeboy's eyes are absolutely breathtaking.

Wow.

it's been a hellafied weird day.
too much to type right now, hopefully I'll have the strength later.


holler.

Groupies.

I hate groupies. Like really. They irritate my spirit so much, it's like "Damn, can you hop off that nigga's meat for a second? Can you take his salami out of your voice box real quick?"

Especially when you're throwing yourself all over a boy that I like.

Shit is critical out here, because I never sweat niggas. I really don't. They come, they go, and most of the time I don't even notcie.

I notice it this time, but that's here nor there because I've come to realize that there's a reason they call 'em groupies. It's because niggas get what they want and toss them bitches to the side.



Real Steez: I just wish this nightmare would end.

Man..

It's been such a nice weekend, real steez.
It was that "chill with that person you're diggin'" weather. The air smelled different, people seemed more friendly than usual. It's too bad that I had a major case of PMS yesterday, and an allergy attack today because I missed hanging in the beautiful weather. =/

It would've been a great day to snap some pics, or paint something. DAMN.


Oh well,
I'm still hype right now man!
I love this time of year- it's not too hot, not too cold. Just.. beautiful.

Ugh.

My head hurts, I'm mad that Beat Freaks were ROBBED on America's Best Dance Crew, folks been getting on my damn nerves.. UGH!

Busted and Disgusted.
I'll holler, though.

Asher Roth.

I don't want to like him, or his music- but I do.



This my jam, son.

One time, for your mind..

This is my last post of the day, I think.

What do I want to talk about? Uhm, Hip Hop? Yeah, that'll work.

I love music as a whole. It will always have big, big part of my heart. My all time favorite genre of music is hip hop.

Hip Hop.

I won't lie, I've expressed my disappointment in the content of hip hop music as a whole. There are times when I feel like it has absolutely no substance- just a whole bunch of ass shaking, gun poppin', weed smokin' mumbo jumbo. (And don't get me started on these "new wave rappers" who are trying so hard to be original that they all look the same.)

I'm the first chick to scream "hip hop is dead!" but, since I have so much time on my hands today, I found myself asking the question: "is hip hop dead, or is it moving in a new direction?"

hmm.

Hip Hop has definitely changed the world, and given people freedom to express themselves without censorship.

Hip Hop is an outlet, right?

So, who are we to judge what's real hip hop and what's not? Who are we to knock a [insert crappy rapper here]? Who are we to knock niggas for rapping about what's important to them, be it ass, guns, or weed? It's important to them, it doesn't have to be important to you. Fall back and go somewhere with yourself!


We complain about [insert genius rapper here], and how they're so underrated, how they don't get the props they deserve, etc. But, what are we doing to help them get the shine they deserve? Do we support their music (downloading on limewire doesn't count)? Do we buy their records? Do we "spread the word"? In most cases, no. It's so easy to complain. It's so easy to be a part of the problem, instead of the solution.

I'm rambling now.

The beauty in the whole situation is the fact that you DON'T have to listen to anything you don't want to. Feel free to turn OFF your radio. Turn OFF 106 & Park (which I don't even watch anymore. fucking trash). I can't even say MTV because they rarely play videos (Fuck them yo).


In conclusion, I say: throw your favorite jam on, and stop being so damn judgemental.

Oh, and when fish ride bicycles..

Look what happens?





Hardbody.
The Cool Kids - "Pennies"

what..

Why am I just now hearing this song?
This is ridiculous to me, I love it.






What do you think?

It's like poetry to me.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Things I need in my life.

Polo "Ranger" Boots

Them Louis Joints.

Can't forget my G Shocks.

I need a sugar daddy.

hmm..

I hate not posting for a long time, because when I'm back at it, I go on a posting frenzy.
Anyone who knows anything about NY knows that it snowed yesterday. really bad.

Everything was shut down, with the exception of my school. Go figure.
My mom let me stay home anyway. =p

I'm home again today, and that gives me nothing but time to devote to this blog, I love it so much.





holler.

Pussy Power.

I don't believe in hiding from my readers. I know you're out there, even though y'all don't comment- and that makes me sad. Anyway, from time to time, I'll blog about personal situations and events that affect my life. All identities will be hidden to protect the innocent- and the not so innocent. I won't shout folk out.




I didn't realize that pusy power was real until last night. Pause.

There's a male in my life, we'll call him "kid", has been in a fucked up situation. He's been messing with this chick, we'll call her "skank" for a minute. It's really taken a toll on him, and everyone close to him. I'll give yall a little backstory on this chick: SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.

RED FLAG.

Not a regular boyfriend either, a boyfriend who says that he can't picture life without her- he'd kill himself first.

RED FLAG NUMBER 2.

All of her past relationships have been with crazy, abusive thugs.

RED FLAG NUMBER 3.

Everyone close to "kid", including myself, has tried to warn him about this chick. She's unstable, and all of her relationships are unstable. She's been letting "kid" slide in her for a minute now. How you gon' let him smash when you have a (suicidal) boyfriend?

DIRTY BITCH.


I'd say that shit got really real last night. Mind you, "skank" is 21. "Kid" is 20. Why the fuck is she playing on "kid's" phone on an unavailable number? and to top it all off, she had another nigga on the line! It got so bad, that he had to turn his phone off. LOL. SMH.

WTF.

I just used three text phrases in a row. Shit is critical out here.

this situation gets more bizarre by the minute. I knew this bitch was crazy.

So, all of the people close to "kid" (including.. yours truly) try to talk some sense into his ass. I asked him, "What is it about her? Why does it seem like you can't shake this bitch off?"

He didn't asnwer.

So, "kid" turned his phone back on today, and of course the unavailable number was back at it again.

He decided to cook, and gives me his phone. BAD MOVE on his part. So, I accidentally on purpose ran across some of his text messages. From her. They read as follows:

"I can't wait until you cum all over.. I mean come over :D"

"I wanna have wildddd, nasty, kinky sex!"

"I wanna suck ya cock. I wanna lick your cum. I want you to fuck my asshole. I wanna ride ya dick til my pussy juice is drippin on ya dick and balls"


My mouth dropped to the fucking floor when I read that. The first thing that ran through my mind was, "Damn, this is a nasty freak bitch". Then a lightbulb went off:

THAT'S WHY HE CAN'T LET GO.

The nastiness in her is appealing to him. And that's disappointing. I'm sure there are some bitches with less baggage that arre just as nasty, some x10.


Pussy Prevails.


But.. pussy won't prevail in this situation. She better get it together before my foot climbs up her ass walls.

The Facts.

I'm learning the cold hard truth, boy.

I can be tired of a situation for you, but if you're not tired of it, it's all in vain.

word.

It never ceases to amaze me at how fickle we are as humans. We're hot, then cold. We're "over it", then we're right back at it again. what the fuck?

There's someone in my life who is extremely... fickle. To say the least. They're dealing with someone that's TOXIC. It's no other way to put it. It is what it is.

One minute, they're tired of the situation, poppin' a bunch of hot bullshit in my ear, wasting MY time with the "I'm tired of it, this is the last straw" speech, then you're ducking everyone, flying on kites, hailing cabs and hopping on buses to see them.

Which is fine. Make yourself miserable if you want, but don't make me miserable in the process. As a friend, it's your job to go through the storms with one another, but stop being so contrary. Stop being so flip-floppy because you make yourself look like an asshole. Stop asking for advice, then being sneaky about the decisions you make. You make yourself look like a coward. Stand behind whatever the fuck you're going to do, I can respect that more than lying.


Am I the only one who's going through this?
Who knew it'd suck this much ass.

truth.

I have nooo energy/desire to write anything, but I wanted to write something, haha.


I'll be back in full effect soon.

Alis Volat Propiis.

"She flies with her own wings".

I'm seriously thinking about getting that as a tattoo on the back of my neck. It just.. really.. stuck out at me. I have an insane obsession for latin phrases. They're always so inspirational, and uplifting. I've never wanted to be the type of person to get some stankin' tattoo of something meaningless, and regret it 30 years later. I want a tattoo that I'll cherish.. even when I'm old and prune-like.

Why on the back of my neck? They say that your first tattoo should be in a spot that you'll have the option of covering it, or flaunting it. My hair is long enough to cover the back of my neck just in case I don't want folks too see it, and I can wear my hair in a bun/ponytail if I wanna show off something lite. Feel me?

I've always taken pride in being my own person.. not needing anyone else to hold my hand every step of the way. I have my own ideas, my own thoughts, my own beliefs.

Flying with my own wings, I don't need anyone else's.

LMAO

Real World Brooklyn

Since I have a long weekend, I might as well catch up on all the shows I've been missing.

Real World Brooklyn. hmmmmm.

it's not bad, but I'm not impressed. at least not yet.

They have some eye candy..
J.D. is cute, but gay. That sucks.

Scott is cute too- did you see those abs? Lickable. lol.

The chicks are so-so. The Devyn chick is pretty cute (no homo), but I'm convinced that those boobs are fake. I know I'm not the only one!

Baya seems pretty cool. She can dance a lil sum'n sum'n.

I like Sarah, and I think her tattoos are pretty neat.

Chet is hilarious, a true metrosexual. It's comedy!

Ryan seems like a jerkoff. Ugh, can't stand him already. I can tell he'll get worse through the season.

And then there's Katelynn. LawdHaveMercy. Much love to the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered) community, but DAMN! She's puttin ya'll to shame, and NOT in a good way. Hot ass mess, at best. Smh.

That's my wrap up. I hope this shit picks up soon, because it's off to a very, very slow start.

Inauguration.

Is it just me, or are you super excited about the inauguration coming up on Tuesday?

The tv's been locked on CNN for a minute now. It sucks that I'm not out there in washington, which is where I want to be, but I can still be a part of the experience.

I don't remember this much excitment surrounding an inauguration in.. like.. ever. And that's including my main man Clinton.

Just some shit to think about: Isn't it funny that a black man is coming into office when America is at it's very lowest point? The black man.. the man that doesn't get the respect he deserves, has to clean up the mess that the most incompetent president in our nations history- has made.

Aint life funny?

Notorious.

Notorious was a good fucking movie, and I'm not saying it just because I'm a fan of biggie (I am).

Forget the fact that I got lost on the way there, or that every viewing was sold out except for the 12:15 a.m. show, I had a good time. And I was jammin' all through that bitch.

It was a nice crowd out. Not too many of those rude jackasses with their cell phones going off the whole time, or the classic baby mama with the little kid that just can't shut the fuck up. I was able to sit through the whole movie any enjoy it.

The beginning of the movie starts off with him as a kid, played by his son. I thought that was pretty dope. Hella dope.

We go into him as a teen, and his mom throwing out the "mashed potatoes" under his bed. You already know what that was, lmao.

They talk about his time in jail, the daughter that he sees when he gets out, how he starting taking rap seriously, how mister Cee put him on, how he met lil kim, and fucked her. Lol.

I think they did a poor job with the portrayl of Kim, and she has every right to be pissed off with how they made her look. She looked like a groupie who couldn't let go, and I'm sure she meant more to Big than that.

My baby Red Cafe did a quick appearance in it, I'm sure most people didn't know that.

Where the fuck was Foxy in the movie?

Of course faith was in it, Pac was in it too.. even though I wasn't feelin' ole dude who played him. Derek Luke did an amazing job playing Diddy! The dancing, the outfits, everything.

The music was on point, you'll love it if you're a fan of biggie. I was doing the "diddy" all through that joint!

You should go see it, if you haven't already. I'm co-sigining it.

BROOKLYN STAND UP!

Young Love.

Can I ask you something?


How the fuck are you in love at 13, 14, 15, and 16? Then, to make matters worse, you're "in love" with someone you've only known two or three months tops?

That's crazy slice!

I think young people (and yes, I'm young too) today are confusing love for serious LUST. How are you capable of understanding the concept of love at such a young age? You're just learning how to love yourself! You're in the beginning stages of understanding who YOU are as a person, but you know that you're "in love" with someone else? GetTheFuckOuttaHere.

Tell you love me, and I'll run for the hills. And a fat bitch don't run so you know you're doing something wrong. I'm not being cynical, not in the least bit, but I know I'm not ready for that kind of relationship yet.. I'm only 17! I know that maturity plays a big role in any relationship, and I understand that there may be different opinions, but hey- it's my blog!

Maybe if adults took the time to get to know one another, and didn't rush into serious relationships, divorce rates wouldn't be so high. lol

I think I'm done.
Take it to the comments if you got SumnaSay. Feel me?

Happy Friday!

I've got a nice, long weekend ahead. I have Monday off and, since half of my class is going to Baltimore to see what they can of Obama's innaugural address, school is closed on Tuesday as well.

Owwwww.

I've decided to make the most of the weekend, and I'm going to start tonight by going to see "Notorious". It better be good.

I'll be doing some major blogging this weekend, and be sure to check back in later. I'll be doing a review of the movie. =]

Relax.

I'm sick. Not sick enough to stop blogging, though. See, I told you I was going to blog more often!

I've been home for the past two days, so I don't have anything juicy to report on. I could tell you how comfy my bed is, but I doubt that'd be interesting.

I guess I'll talk about.. boys.
Yeah. You can never go wrong with that, can you?

As I said yesterday, they're full of shit. I stand behind that statement 1,000 percent. I mean, what's the deal?

Why do guys complain about finding misses right, when she's right in front of your mug- and you're acting like a JACKASS?

What's with the mind games?

What's with the lies?

Why do guys tell all 30 chicks they're messing with the same thing? I mean damn, can a bitch feel special?


Ah, well.

I'm sure I'll be back to blog a little later. I promise I won't talk about boys in the next post, lol.

Toodles.

ashamed.

I feel like I need a fresh start.
I'm sitting in the doctor's office, and all I can think about is writing.
I should start a new blog, because this one has gone to shit.
I've been meaning to write, but eh.

Maybe I should stick it out, I don't know.

Lifes been interesting to say the least.
I feel like I should update you [whoever you are] about my lifes happenings.

Where do I start?
This new year hasn't been poppin' for me. At all. It's been one dramatic event after another.

Boys suck. That's a fact. There all full of shit. I'm ashamed because.. for the first time.. EVER.. I let a guy get the best of me and turn my whole fucking world upside down.

-slaps hand

BAD GIRL!

Ah, well. I'm gradually getting my shit together because I refuse to spoil my year. We're 13 days deep, it's time for me to regroup, come with a new gameplan, because the shit definitely isn't working.


I promise I'll start blogging more often.
I'll blog so much, you'll get tired of hearing about my life. =]

WORD!