Bobby James.

Blogging from my phone is difficult. Can't do too much of anything.

Music will always have a special place in my heart. I know a lot of people say that, but they lie. It's just a cute little thing that people say these days. ugh, so cliche. Has no real meaning.

anyway.

I could go on about that all day, but lemme get to the meat of the sammich (sandwhich). Different songs mean different things to different people. There's one song that means a lot to me.

N*E*R*D - Bobby James

The songs is about a teen named *gasp* Bobby James. He's an outcast, 17 year old cocaine addict. He feels alone, he's tired, he's on the edge, pretty much every fucked up feeling you can think of.

I can relate. I know what it's like to feel alone. I know what it is to scream at the top of your lungs and STILL feel like no one's listening. I know what it is to be emotionally drained. I know what it is to feel like an outcast. I know what it is to want to escape.. so bad.. but not have anywhere to go. I know what it feels like to run in circles.

Do you get my drift?

My spirit feels heavy lately. I just.. I don't know.

I'm so tired, maybe that's it. It's been a stressful few months for me. I know there's a silver lining in all of this. I know God brings sunshine after the storm.

Until then, I'll wait.

ahem.

it's 6:27 on a Tuesday morning, and I'm compelled to blog. School was closed for me yesterday, but it was an action packed day nonetheless. My mom went with me to get all the supplies I need for convention.

And then she told me she had a dream that I married one of my friends.

What the hell.

Now, dude is cool. We're alike in so many ways. But.. no. Just.. NO.

I've always said that I'd never get married. Like.. ever. I'm only 17 and she's having visions of me in that ol' white dress? wtf.

Sheesh, it's been bothering me since she said it. Somebody pray for me.

Sunday.

Sundays are always quiet. that's not necessarily a bad thing either.

Today is my granny's 88th birthday. Isn't that amazing? I love it.. and I lover her.

It's also Easter. Y'know, that one Sunday when people you haven't seen in church in ages decide to show their face.

I'm trying to keep it holy, but some folks are just irritating me with their fakery. It's always the main niggas who get a twisted sense of joy from calling out others, that can't take the heat when it's done to them. Quite frankly I'm sick of it. and I'm sick of them. ugh.

I'll be blogging a little later.
Watch out.

Cassie has steez.

Check out Cassie's new cut!
Yes, all that beautiful, long hair- half that it's been deaded. LMAO.
That's some badass shit right there..
She's gorgeous enough to pull this off, oww!

Hello Handsome Volume 1.

I've been thinking about doing some shit like this for a while now. Every so often I'll be posting some menses that I find absolutely lickable.

My first Hello Handsome pick:

Johnta Austin.

"who the fuck is a Johnta Austin", you ask? He's only the nigga who wrote your favorite artist's biggest hit. He co-wrote Mariah Carey's "We belong Together" (the biggest song of '07), wrote Tyrese's "Sweet Lady", and Mary J. Blige's "Be Without You". What you know about that?

And his single "Turn It Up" still bangs on my ipod.

I remember the first time I saw the video for it, and I remember thinking to myself, "Oh, he's cute".

No big deal.

But, this weekend, things took a strange turn to the left, and the left is where I learned that I have a serious case of Johnta-itis. I'm feenin cuh.

I've been watching this caramel surprise on youtube all weekend, along with Jermaine Dupri and Brian Michael Cox (whom I have a slight crush on as well, but that's for another day) on their lil series "Living the Life". Maybe it's all the shit he talked (I bet you the D-Game is mean! lmao), maybe it's his whole auora, but that man is VERY well put together. and I love me a southern gentleman.

I'd do all kinds of unholy things to him, and then go to church on Sunday. Good girl style.

I love a man that exudes confidence, and can back that shit up! That's a fly nigga right there. He can dress his ass of too.

Look at that pic and enjoy. I know I have.


I'ma stop right here.
I've definitely creamed on myself.

Hmm.

Happy April, everyone.

I soo soo love April, because the weather is getting a tad bit nicer, and this month symbolizes the end for me. The ending of a long, painfully boring, drama-filled school year. I want to be free- I forgot how that feels.

The other interesting this about April is.. well.. we go away for four days. some of us. To the A.C.E. student convention. It's at the Word of Life Camp in Schroon Lake, New York. We had a prety decent time. My only real complaint about it is..

THERE ARE ONLY TWO BLACK SCHOOLS THAT COMPETE IN THE CONVENTION. and we're one of them.

Yeah, folks. There are hardly any coloreds, and there's definitely an underlying racism that goes on at that joint. Believe me. it's not my first time going so I'd know.

I'm competing in 7 events. 2 of which are singing events- a female quartet(=/) and a small ensemble.

I don't mind small ensemble because it's just our Academy Choir. Muhfuckas were skipping choir rehearsal and the director pulled her ass from the joint.

LOL. cause I don't like the bitch anyway.

Anywho, my father's birthday was April 1st. April Fool's Day suits him. I seriously thought about being the adult in the situation and calling him, but I decided against it when I remembered how many times he'd called me for mine over these recent years.

think about it.

Today is a pretty decent day outside.. I think. I'm not going anywhere, though.

I'ma chill in the cut.
I may even blog a few times today, we'll see.